JAE FEVER

Ambitious. Delicious. Seditious.

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    When, in a drinking session, someone suddenly tells you, “your naivete is what I love the most about you” it makes you stop and think. Especially when you’ve been, of late, trying to pass yourself off to those who don’t know better as a world-wise twenty-something sophisticate, right at home in a generation that thinks cynicism is chic. So I’m naïve. I believe in being part of a struggle much bigger than yourself; daring to reach for a heaven far beyond your grasp; doing your part to assuage wounds wrought by many lifetimes of strife and knowing that it will take double that number of lifetimes to completely heal. I can look every bully in the eye and I know I will not flinch. Very few things threaten me – probably more the result of the brashness of youth than the wisdom of years. I think the best kind of job is not the job that gets you a fat paycheck or gives you generous car plan. It’s the job that makes you sleep well at night and eager to get up the next day. I love knowing that I’m working with the good guys – and drinking with them later at night. I believe that the fire in my belly can quell the butterflies in my tummy, and that my phantoms are no match for my passions. I maintain that the Left is right (but also that social justice is impossible without procedural due process). I believe in love, purely and utterly: insisting on it, finding it, keeping it, allowing yourself to be swept off your feet by the violence of its current but at the same time rocked to gentle sleep in the constancy of its embrace. I believe in the certainty and constancy of my friendships. I believe I’m fabulous and beautiful, and if you don’t agree with me, that’s because you’re wrong. I would say I believe in a Higher Being that holds everything together, and allows us to find that glint of light amidst hunger and cancer and injustice and oppression —- But then, that’s not naivete anymore. That’s faith.
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Funky Friday Night

Posted by Jae on February 24, 2007

It’s a shampoo-commercial cliche. You’re at a party. You bump into your ex. You see that he’s with his new girl and she has goddess “parang-never-nakasakay-ng-jeep” hair. You lock yourself up in the banyo, wipe your tears, and then whip out your sunsilk leave-on conditioner. Va-voom. Goddess hair too. (With the added bonus of knowing that you ride a jeep every single god-made day in the course of your work as a lawyer/powerpuff girl out to save the world before bedtime.)

That happened to me last night. Well, right up to the point where I was supposed to whip out my leave-on conditioner and walk out of the CR into the adoring gasps of my audience. More like, I was shedding hot panicky tears while my two friends were knocking sense into me. “Hoy, andami mo nang naging jowa pagkatapos nyan, hindi match ang ganyang drama.” “Hindi niya seryosong girlfriend yan — I feel it.”

“Waaaah, wala akong pakialam. Pwede ka na magsalamin sa buhok niya.”

In the clear light of day (sans alcohol and mood lighting), I guess it was just a moment that had to happen, and will happen to every girl at some point in their lives. Shocking lang, kasi first time nangyari sa akin. It doesnt really say anything about how you feel about a particular person or how much you have (or havent) managed to move on. I dont think anything that happened last night has questioned my belief that I have moved on.

Bad trip lang talaga. Kasi ang ganda ng buhok nya sobra. :(

And for my friend who was sitting beside me last night, and with whom I had this exchange, maraming maraming salamat.

“Alam mo, pag pinagtabi kayo sa bar, ikaw ang pipiliin ko.”

“Mas matalino naman siguro ako, ano?”

Kahit hindi pa tayo pumunta dun.”

* * *

So here I am, on a Saturday morning, contemplating on doing something to my hair. Rebond? Highlights? Cellophane? Wag nalang. Hehe. Wala akong pera. Iinom nalang ako, surrounded by great and wonderful people, as I raise a toast to enduring friendships — of the variety that sticks by you when you decide to get crazy and psycho for a night.

6 Responses to “Funky Friday Night”

  1. Bonn Juego said

    Aw….

    ‘Love is so short; forgetting is so long’…. ;)

    Here’s a reflective piece which I also shared just now to a friend: http://agoodgame.blogspot.com/2004_12_01_archive.html.

    Iinom na lang natin ‘yan,
    Bonn

  2. jaefever said

    Bonn: Haaaay. Mabuhay si Pablo Neruda. :)

    Rico: Yup, sometime this week. Great bumping into you in Morato after so many years. :)

  3. Dianne said

    Hmmm.. can’t relate. Pero only in regards to exes and their succeeding girls. Nyahahaha. My insecurities usually lie with the current competition. Like now, for example. sigh. tara, pa-kalbo tayo.

  4. Joan said

    There’s this age-old debate that goes: “What would you prefer, that your ex’s new flame is hotter, or uglier than you?” My take is, I want all my exes to view me as ‘the one who got away’, so, please lord, sana mas maganda ako :-) but, if i’m so over him and amicable ang break-up, meaning, he’s a good guy — treated me well, just that we can’t work — and i want the best for him.. sige na, kahit maganda sa kin, but please lord, sana mas matalino ako, hehehehe :-)

  5. golda said

    wahaha, this is hilarious!sobrang ganda nga tlga cguro ang hair nya to get that reaction from u!

  6. jaefever said

    Dianne: Magpakalbo? Yuck, how very Britney Spears. And like her, we dont have the recklessness-of-youth card to fall back on anymore.

    Joan: Well, this ex naman treated me really well so I do wish him the best. Hehe, it was just a random psycho moment. As for the matalino part, Id probably have no problem with being out”smarted”. Isipin mo nalang, you raised the bar. Hahaha. Kesa naman you find out hes dating a subliterate (“muzta na? here na me, where na you?”) idiot. That would make him indiscriminate. Wag naman ganun. :(

    Golda: Maganda nga talaga. Pero naisip ko din, andami kong problema that week. So it was really more my stresses than her… tresses. Hahaha.

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