JAE FEVER

Ambitious. Delicious. Seditious.

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    When, in a drinking session, someone suddenly tells you, “your naivete is what I love the most about you” it makes you stop and think. Especially when you’ve been, of late, trying to pass yourself off to those who don’t know better as a world-wise twenty-something sophisticate, right at home in a generation that thinks cynicism is chic. So I’m naïve. I believe in being part of a struggle much bigger than yourself; daring to reach for a heaven far beyond your grasp; doing your part to assuage wounds wrought by many lifetimes of strife and knowing that it will take double that number of lifetimes to completely heal. I can look every bully in the eye and I know I will not flinch. Very few things threaten me – probably more the result of the brashness of youth than the wisdom of years. I think the best kind of job is not the job that gets you a fat paycheck or gives you generous car plan. It’s the job that makes you sleep well at night and eager to get up the next day. I love knowing that I’m working with the good guys – and drinking with them later at night. I believe that the fire in my belly can quell the butterflies in my tummy, and that my phantoms are no match for my passions. I maintain that the Left is right (but also that social justice is impossible without procedural due process). I believe in love, purely and utterly: insisting on it, finding it, keeping it, allowing yourself to be swept off your feet by the violence of its current but at the same time rocked to gentle sleep in the constancy of its embrace. I believe in the certainty and constancy of my friendships. I believe I’m fabulous and beautiful, and if you don’t agree with me, that’s because you’re wrong. I would say I believe in a Higher Being that holds everything together, and allows us to find that glint of light amidst hunger and cancer and injustice and oppression —- But then, that’s not naivete anymore. That’s faith.

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Archive for January 26th, 2008

Sucker for Signs

Posted by Jae on January 26, 2008

So this morning, over the radio while having breakfast, I heard some guy talking about feng shui. I suppose these things are popular now that the Chinese New Year is drawiing near. I’m not the biggest fan of astrology but I sat up and listened when he talked about those born in the Year of the Monkey. Good year for career, for business, for travels abroad– and my best compatibility match would be with someoone from the Year of the Horse.

Because we are all secret stalkers at heart, I checked the friendster of this guy I had just met yesterday and found out he was born in 1977, which makes him one year short of being a 1978 Horse baby. (And I ALSO found out from my blockmate that he’s married so… so much for that.)

Feeling bummed out over that latest “information” (cute kasi sya talaga, at smart, at leftist, and one of those very rare breed of lawyers with absolutely no air of self-importance), but more likely because I was bored, I decided to go to the Kamuning thriftshops to look at the knickknacks there. I love doing that. And I love that it’s just two minutes away from my house. The guy manning the store was a man in his late ’60s or even older, who mumbled to himself and wasn’t particularly interested in helping me.

I saw this small vintage transistor radio and thought the price was good. While I was about to pay for it, the guy suddenly tipped over this small brass thing and it fell to the floor. I picked it up and saw that it was a tiny horse. Yeah, i know there are probably a gazillion of those, and my overactive imagination is reading signs that aren’t there, but still, i thought it was FREAKY. I asked the grumpy old man how much it was and he said “P50.00″ (hehe, cheap taiwan-made knock-off).

So yeah, now I have a completely useless horse thingy sitting on my dresser… all because one random guy was born one year too early to be a Horse and decided to get married before having met me. :(

Hehehe.

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