JAE FEVER

Ambitious. Delicious. Seditious.

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    When, in a drinking session, someone suddenly tells you, “your naivete is what I love the most about you” it makes you stop and think. Especially when you’ve been, of late, trying to pass yourself off to those who don’t know better as a world-wise twenty-something sophisticate, right at home in a generation that thinks cynicism is chic. So I’m naïve. I believe in being part of a struggle much bigger than yourself; daring to reach for a heaven far beyond your grasp; doing your part to assuage wounds wrought by many lifetimes of strife and knowing that it will take double that number of lifetimes to completely heal. I can look every bully in the eye and I know I will not flinch. Very few things threaten me – probably more the result of the brashness of youth than the wisdom of years. I think the best kind of job is not the job that gets you a fat paycheck or gives you generous car plan. It’s the job that makes you sleep well at night and eager to get up the next day. I love knowing that I’m working with the good guys – and drinking with them later at night. I believe that the fire in my belly can quell the butterflies in my tummy, and that my phantoms are no match for my passions. I maintain that the Left is right (but also that social justice is impossible without procedural due process). I believe in love, purely and utterly: insisting on it, finding it, keeping it, allowing yourself to be swept off your feet by the violence of its current but at the same time rocked to gentle sleep in the constancy of its embrace. I believe in the certainty and constancy of my friendships. I believe I’m fabulous and beautiful, and if you don’t agree with me, that’s because you’re wrong. I would say I believe in a Higher Being that holds everything together, and allows us to find that glint of light amidst hunger and cancer and injustice and oppression —- But then, that’s not naivete anymore. That’s faith.
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Archive for October 31st, 2008

Ms. Salazar

Posted by Jae on October 31, 2008

Every school had a “terror” teacher; every exclusive girls’ high school had the stereotype spinster administrator who made sure all the rules were followed and everyone followed the straight and narrow. In St. Scho, Miss Salazar was ours.

She wore big glasses, had curly hair and being called to her room meant that we were in trouble. I remember always dreading being late because that would mean having to explain ourselves to her. We would heave a sigh of relief when it was Vicky, her secretary, signing the tardy slips for her and making the appropriate notations on our index cards. Even then though, we always held a grudging respect for her conscientiousness. And looking back, even if some of her methods were a tad outdated, the discipline and work ethic that we carry with us to this day are due in no small part to her steely resolve to make us behave like “proper young women”.

After graduation, as we moved on with our different lives and chosen paths, it was regrettably all too easy to forget the gray-haired prim old lady who made sure that the high school ran like clockwork.

Until two days ago, when Jordan sent me a very sad email about Miss Salazar’s physical condition. The email is quite hard to cut and paste because it’s a running thread of emails from different individuals. Summarizing the emails, Miss Salazar had been suffering from bed sores for a long time now as well as a variety of illnesses usually afflicting the aging. Apparently, the apartment she lives in all by herself is infested with rats. One day, some rats crawled in and, attracted to the bed sores, gnawed on them. Vermin bites were seen on her head, chin and forearm. She was alone and could not move.

Eventually, she was brought to the hospital for treatment, but is now back in her apartment recuperating with the assistance of her niece, Tett Salazar, who lives nearby. Her knees are constantly in pain.

In emails and Friendster bulletins posted back and forth, her specific needs were listed. To quote from Mrs. Pengzon’s Friendster entreaty: ”The other items we could help out with aside from adult diapers (size L) would be the food supplement PEPTAMEN (very expensive according to Tett) and the medicated patch AQUACEL by Convatec for her bedsore. BTW, the bedsore has been reduced in size due to this patch. However, the patch is hard to find in Manila so perhaps the girls in the US could help with this.

I know how it feels to be sick and scared. You feel cheated by destiny. But during all my illnesses, I never found myself alone. I’ve never had to go through a major tragedy with no one with me. I’ve always had my family and my loved ones by my side, forming a steady and happy little barangay for me, and yet many times, I still find myself complaining. After reading Jordan’s email, I could not stop  myself from weeping at the thought of vermins biting at a person immobilized by illness because no one was around to shoo them away.

My heart bleeds at the thought of what Ms. Salazar had gone through and what she continuous to go through. I can only pray that God extends His kindness and grace to this woman who has been such a faithful servant of His, and ask for prayers from my fellow Scholasticans and other friends. I also pray that this entry be read by a kind soul in a position to extend material assistance to Ms. Salazar in this time of great need.

Those who want to help may get in touch with Tett Salazar at 4007070. I suppose you can also call the High School Department of St. Scholastica’s College.

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