JAE FEVER

Ambitious. Delicious. Seditious.

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    When, in a drinking session, someone suddenly tells you, “your naivete is what I love the most about you” it makes you stop and think. Especially when you’ve been, of late, trying to pass yourself off to those who don’t know better as a world-wise twenty-something sophisticate, right at home in a generation that thinks cynicism is chic. So I’m naïve. I believe in being part of a struggle much bigger than yourself; daring to reach for a heaven far beyond your grasp; doing your part to assuage wounds wrought by many lifetimes of strife and knowing that it will take double that number of lifetimes to completely heal. I can look every bully in the eye and I know I will not flinch. Very few things threaten me – probably more the result of the brashness of youth than the wisdom of years. I think the best kind of job is not the job that gets you a fat paycheck or gives you generous car plan. It’s the job that makes you sleep well at night and eager to get up the next day. I love knowing that I’m working with the good guys – and drinking with them later at night. I believe that the fire in my belly can quell the butterflies in my tummy, and that my phantoms are no match for my passions. I maintain that the Left is right (but also that social justice is impossible without procedural due process). I believe in love, purely and utterly: insisting on it, finding it, keeping it, allowing yourself to be swept off your feet by the violence of its current but at the same time rocked to gentle sleep in the constancy of its embrace. I believe in the certainty and constancy of my friendships. I believe I’m fabulous and beautiful, and if you don’t agree with me, that’s because you’re wrong. I would say I believe in a Higher Being that holds everything together, and allows us to find that glint of light amidst hunger and cancer and injustice and oppression —- But then, that’s not naivete anymore. That’s faith.

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Archive for May 13th, 2009

Bad trip

Posted by Jae on May 13, 2009

Bad trip. Bad trip. Bad trip.

Denied daw ang Second MR namin sa Dusit. Hence, jurisprudence na na pag ang manggagawa ay naglunsad ng peaceful protest action basta “embarrassing to the employer”, strike na yun.

Nagpuyat kang gumawa ng dokumento, at ginawa mo ito sa gitna ng mga meetings at pagpaplano para sa CARPER deadline, pero malalaman mong hindi pala ito nafile on time.

Nag-oorganisa ka ng forum na binagsakan naman at pinagpasyahan pagtulungang gawin, pero parang namamalimos ka ng pansin. As though ikaw wala kang ibang trabaho kundi mangulit sa text at tawag.

Sumasakit na ulo mo may deadline kang Appeal sa lunes, pero may byahe ka papuntang Bacolod sa Linggo. Na by the way kailangan ng powerpoint presentation. Sa Lunes, mula airport diretso Kongreso. May activity kasi. Something like that.

May gusto pang pumasok ng kaso, CLOA cancellation, samantalang tatlong kaso na ang tinanggap mo  sa loob ng isang gabing pulong sa harap ng DAR. Hindi ata naman nabibili ang Petition sa carinderia. Hindi naman ako robot, pabrika ng lomi at pleading, tambakan ng kaso tapos sa ibang bagay ay hindi naman kasali, hindi tinuturing na kabahagi.

Ewan.

Pagod na pagod na ako. Gusto ko na umiyak.

Mabuti nalang andyan si Yoyong Merida, ang magiting (at kunwari ay english-speaking) magsasaka ng Sumilao, na nagtetext ng “i miss my beatifol farm in Sumilao, San Vicente, Bukidnon, which i leave to go to Manila to fight for the right of the farmer,  so therefore that’s why i will work my farmtown in Facebook.”

Sige ako din Yoyong. Farmtown nalang ako. Mas masaya pa. Level 25 na ako. 

p.s. gusto ko lang mag-angst. siguro ay rereglahin lang ako. buburahin ko ito bukas.

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