Posted by: Jae | February 27, 2007

Kung Hei Fat Jae

Was at Mercury drugstore yesterday to buy potato chips (for my Recommended Daily Allowance of sodium and spice and everything not-nice) and on a whim, I decided to get my weight taken. Major shocker: I weigh twenty pounds heavier than I weighed after graduating from law school.

Of course it shouldnt matter to me. I do after all work for an organization that espouses pluralism and diversity and acceptance and drinking-everyday-till-everyone-grows-a-potbelly-and-becomes-equal (loko lang, hehe),  and thinness, nay skinniness, after all is nothing but a cultural imposition foisted upon women, but bilbil is bilbil is bilbil is bilbil and I DON’T LIKE IT.  Not on me anyway.

It becomes a million times worse when other people rib you about it. Why do you think I took my weight in Mercury?  At a family gathering over the weekend at Alabang Town Center, that was all my relatives could say to me after the requisite beso-beso. My metrosexual cousin told me my skin was clearing up and asked me what I was using. “Olay Total Effects,” I said, happy to get the topic off my extra padding. He replied:  “Ay, nakakataba din pala yon. Bwahahahaahahahaha”

And of course it doesn’t help that you have a mom who is 100 pounds, has three children and a waistline of 24″, and firmly believes with no room for argument that she is the hottest non-surgically-enhanced 52-year-old around. She seems to enjoy telling me to “cover your tiyan, your bilbil is jiggling, eeuuw..” or to remind me that at 26 (my age now) she had two kids and a whistlebait figure. I love her dearly, and I tell myself that she must have worked so hard to pay for the ridiculous tuition fees in St. Scho, she missed all those Oprah episodes on “feeding the positive self-image of your little girl”.

Dear God, after stopping peasant violence and sending thunderbolts of fire to the wicked landlords, after helping us  have  clean and bloodless elections (with Akbayan winning three seats again, hehe),  if You have time lang naman po, please please please please please take away my bilbil.

And to the rest of you: donations to my Dove Self-esteem Fund now accepted. 😀



  1. i just finished south beach phase 1 coz even if im finally back to my ideal pre-bar weight, yes, i too have bilbil.bumili na rin ako ng ab slimmer 2000.ok sya.feeling ko mas efficient ung crunches mo with the ab slimmer.

  2. shucks, i dont have the discipline talaga to exercise. akyat ako bondoc sa monday — lets hope that twenty-hour trip on rough roads counts as a workout!

  3. Dove Self-esteem Fund? now what is that about? hehehe
    naku mahirap talaga maalis ang bilbil. i trained for a mountaineering group for almost five months (2 training sessions per week which include stretching, calisthenics, 10k runs, push-ups, sit-ups, obliques, squat-thrusts). it did work on cutting down a lot of fat from my body including the nasty “man-boobs” pero ang bilbil andyan pa din. so if you’re on the road on developing a lot of bilbil, goodluck in having that disappear in a quick instant bwahahahahaha

    crunches won’t really help remove it, but it’s good enough to give you core strength – do a lot of aerobic exercises to burn all the fat. eeek, i sound like a trainer hehehe
    – cgel

  4. Yuck, namigay talaga ng advice. haha. San ka nagtratrain? sa Better Bodies, sa building ng opis nyo? inisip ko mag-enrol dun dati, kaso parang, exposed ka sa buong matalino st.

    p.s. huhuhu, kelan kaya may magcocomment na magsasabing “wala ka namang bilbil, you goddess you!”?

  5. ‘Wala ka namang bilbil, ah!’ — Yes, ako na iyong hi-god! 😉

    Nakaka-miss naman itong si Chrisgel! Hunk na pala ito ngayon — can’t imagine him as such during our CSSP Student Council days!

    Don’t worry, may mga lalaki naman na mas gusto ang malaki-laki ang tiyan! 😉

  6. jae… naku di ako naggygym or naggym ever. i don’t like the idea of going to the gym for training… parang madaya and unnatural kasi. nagtrain kami dati sa makati sa may gamboa park where we usually run around the park 20 times (which is approximately 10k). syempre may akyat sa bundok. pero ngayon di ko na nagagawa because of the unpredictability of my work schedules

    bonn… di ako hunk hehehe dahil may bilbil pa din ako. i can’t consider myself fit anymore. hahaha tagal na nung student council ah pero kung sakaling nagkalakas ako ng loob noon at oras mag-up-mountaineers, baka maimagine mo na hehehe

  7. Wala ka namang bilbil, you (anorexic)goddess you! :p

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