Posted by: Jae | March 31, 2007

1001th Blog Hit

You know how some people write to express their innermost feelings? To articulate their turmoil and anguish, in the hope that writing will lead to some form of expurgation, and hopefully, redemption? Freedom from drama. Drama in freedom. Cathartic cataclysms. Earthshaking rakenrol. Liberation, libog, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Not me.

I write because — gasp! — I want to be read. I get a kick out of it. A delicious, I’m-so-fucking-full-of-myself kick. Heehee. Maybe it’s sacrilegious for other people, those who wait for their Muse under the moonlight and write from the sacred spaces of their soul, that I actually find myself thinking: “Oh no, I better write something serious and analytical fast. Wrote two cheesy blogs in a row. They might think I’m shallow.” Then, I click the “blog hits” button two hours after: elated if there are new hits and better yet, new comments; worried if there aren’t. I am the complete opposite of the friend I was in a table with just last night, who told me that when she blogs, she just lets the words tumble free from within, unconscious of the reader — breathing deeply and freely and joyously in her parcel of internet real estate. Three cheers for that. She writes as a form of release. I as a form of… exhibitionism.

So yeah, sue me for being more Master Showman than Anne Frank. Laugh. Cackle. Chortle. I dont care if this says something about the depth and breadth of my real and documented achievements, but I AM tickled pink by the fact that I have — drumroll please — reached my 1000th bloghit a few hours ago, less than two months after my very first entry (entitled “My Very First Entry..”)

I don’t even remember what prodded me to open a blog. I think maybe it was that one afternoon when my friend Jonas, administrator of the beautiful Lagablab website, was showing off his extraordinary technical blog-administration acumen while rolling his eyes at my incompetence (HTML, what?!) Deciding that I havent done anything for the first time in a long, long while, I got me a wordpress account, typed merrily away. And never stopped again.

Twenty or so posts and 1000 bloghits (yuk, ang kulit, paulit-ulit) after, I’m totally hooked. I’ve been in love with writing since forever, and I’ve been an audience-whore for almost as long, and since I don’t really see book publishers making a beeline to my door, blogging is the delicious next-best-thing. Sometimes — and this is the first time Ill be making this confession — I actually pass up on gimiks or go home early from one so I can write a blog entry. How dorky.

And of course, accompanying my new blogwriting hobby is its logical partner: blog-hopping. I’ve come across blogs of total strangers (many not even from this country) that just take my breath away. I am very, very easily intimidated in the face of honest-to-goodness good writing, especially from unpublished writers my age. Also, because I nurse fantasies of being a domestic cooking goddess, I like food blogs with recipes and mouth-watering pictures. Sometimes, I do read the political blogs too, particularly those belonging to individuals of a different ideological persuasion. But it tires me so, and I have neither the stamina nor the patience to engage in blog wars with frothing-in-the-mouth activists. Even worse than that, however, to my mind, is the incoherent, im-a-poet-this-is-my-art-who-fucking-cares-if-noone-gets-it blog. “naked head over heels/crack jaw in hollywood/sack of bones and wedding leftovers/ wet thighs coughing like an old man/i listen to the river flow with abandon/and fly to the laughter of death where mermaids weep…. spastic/ cosmic/orgasmic/ orocan plastic na walastic.” You lost me at hello.

Seriously though, I’ve written more in the past two months than I have in four years of law school. That ought to be a good thing, I suppose. So ya know, Ill be sticking around this neck of the cyber-woods for while.

Mwah! Big hug to you all. Stay interested in me. Hahahaha.


Responses

  1. Congratulations! Hahaha! Lalo na siguro kung iyong system ng blog hits mo tulad ng iba – ng akin din – na you could track the domains, countries, location, length of visit, etc of those people who have viewed your blog. Malamang nga, maging KJ ka at mang-iiwan ka na sa mga gimikan kung ganito!

    Taga-CMC ka nga. You’re a natural writer. Ako naman I love reading people’s blogs and find time to comment more than posting. There are times I easily get overwhelmed with the comments I receive to the point of not replying to them anymore. In my recent (grabe, one month ago!) I already received about 21 comments from people in different countries (Australia, Norway, Estonia, Finland, UAE, US, UK, Singapore, Malaysia, Tunisia, Philippines, etc)– ang galing kasi ng mga insights nila so in-email ko na lang sila isa-isa rather than writing a general reply to them! Knowing my international audience now I feel incompetent and constrained to post stuff, and it now seems to me that my blog cannot be the diary I would have wanted it to be, i.e., a diary to celebrate life. But I know I should not be feeling this way. After all, it’s my own garden I am cultivating, not theirs :p! I guess I’ll just have to open a new one for a blog diary – but I cannot afford to have one merely for whining (kainggit nga iyong iba they can do this)!

    Keep on blogging! Reading your stuff has been part of my journey at this particular phase of my life! Thanks, ang sipag mo!😉

  2. galing galing naman ni jae… congrats. 1000 plus hits, and another one from me. you’re lucky i check your blog five times a day! (hahaha just joking).

    bonn, nakakaintimidate kaya ang blog mo. sobrang bow ako sa mga entries mo, those are the type that i might dream of writing in my blog pero naaah, i like my blog the way it is, a chunkful of this and that. kaya di na ko nagcocomment, kasi di ko ma-reach ang level ng posts mo hehehe

  3. Hehe, oo nga Bonn, nakakaintimidate blog mo. Di ba chrisgel? Hindi ako nagtataka na ganun ka extensive at international ang reach mo. Ako, hanggang mga tambay lang ng UP village ang readership, and possibly mga cubicles sa lawfirms ng makati enclaves. Wala pa ako masyado alam sa technical side ng blogging, kaya di ko matrace origin ng blog hits. Mag-upload nga ng pics, hit and miss pa din. Nagtry ako mag-upload ng birthday party pics kahapon, di ko nagawa. Sa friendster ko nalang nilagay.

    Oo nga chrisgel, andalas mo sa blog ko. At ang sipag mo magcomment, gaya ni Bonn. Sinisilip ko din blog mo, kaso parang wala ka nang bagong posts ngayon.


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