Posted by: Jae | July 20, 2007

Things they forgot to write about in “The Girl’s Guide to Everything”

  • When the opportunity to date a famous singer-composer celebrity presents itself to you, before you make up your mind, consider the possibility that two years after you’ve broken up, you could have an officemate working next to you who would happen to be a diehard fan of his (because if your name is Carl Marx, you don’t listen to the Backstreet Boys, you just don’t)  and blare songs sung by your now-ex boyfriend in his sad raspy voice from the office sound system everyday, morning to evening, lunch time and break time included.
  •  “Super thanks po!” in twangy St. scho english is a line for parents, for boyfriends, for friends, for YM chatmates, for officemates… for virtually everyone EXCEPT municipal trial court judges who granted your oral motion to dismiss.
  • If desirous of commanding respect in an online correspondence, make a formal email address. Steer clear of email addresses like attyjae@sanrioland.com. Or for that matter, jaelaw@gmail.com.
  • To save money, hop inside a Body Shop or a Beauty Bar and apply makeup from the makeup testers. Best done before a date, a photo session (kung kelangan magpa1″1 picture sa kodak express center sa mall) or in the case of a blockmate of mine, before the Winlaw ball. Choose cosmetics that can be applied without need of sponge or brush. Halimbawa, eyeshadow or cheek stain that you can use your fingers to apply. Use lipgloss that you can squeeze out of a tube. And bring your own foundation. I do it all the time, hehe.
  • When Sheriffs, court personnel, or various other goffers  ask you money for “pamasahe” , *wink wink* and it’s merely a “tip” and not a bribe to do something bad or to wreak an injustice on someone else, they of course won’t tell you the exact amount they want. Do this: ask him where he came from, compute taxi fare in your head and multiply by two.
  • Anong mga bagay na dapat bilhin mo ng mahal, at anong bagay ang pwedeng mura nalang? Bili ka ng murang payong, mahal (at matibay) na sapatos. Murang cell phone, mahal na computer. Murang eye shadow, mahal na foundation/face powder. Murang lotion, mahal na pabango. Murang pantyliner, mahal na sanitary napkin. Murang toothpaste, mahal na toothbrush. Murang beer. Murang beer.🙂

Responses

  1. hahaha eh what if you removed the word “super” and retained the twangy colegiala “thanks po”? how about that? hmn, still not a good idea no?🙂

  2. OR… retain the “super” and add “as in”? .. to wit: “super thanks po, as in!” for total ditz flavor.🙂


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