Posted by: Jae | December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

I had my hair cut yesterday. Really short, radically short. I’ve worn my hair long for more than three years now — at one point pinstraight rebonded and falling past my bra-line, at another with Lolita Carbon layers, at another just perenially in a ponytale Manang-style, but most often wild and dishevelled and free and getting entangled in places. Always long. I’ve been afraid of getting it cut until yesterday noon.

I choked back a sob and strangled a sigh when I heard the first snip of Jerome’s scissors (the stylist at Piandre). Like I wanted to stop him, to grab his scissors and run away and never come back. But I stopped myself and just kept on pinching the web of skin between my forefinger and thumb. Maybe it’s a cliche, but after the first traumatic snip, there is something liberating about watching the succeeding locks of hair float to the floor as they are chopped off from the rest of you. Every falling lock, a memory to be excised — one trip to the hospital, a bitter fight, devastating news, crying in the rain, words left unsaid,  words carelessly said, moments of too-shy, moments of too-reckless,  moments of too-anything, Samuel Beckett-inspired relationships, tumults and explosions and volcanic eruptions.

After the last fatal snip, I faced the mirror. My hair is short, my head is light, my face is thinner (yay!) and I feel…. giddy. The hair won’t fly with the wind anymore like it used to, but sometimes, neat is good too. Everything in place, with grace and not madness.

And — I know because I have tried — you can still dance in the rain with short hair.

Happy New Year to me. Happy New Year to you. Wishing you love and quiet and heartsongs forevermore.

Steady lang tayo, at tatahimik din ang mundo.



  1. sexy ka pa din with short hair? hmmm.

    sabagay wala na ako ibang kilalang taong nakakapagsabi ng “ang sarap ng nudol, pag sumisinok ako, natitikman ko pa din”. the same person who only two blogs before, beautifully wrote, “sometimes our only hope of survival is to live vicariously in the poetries of other people’s lives.”

    ASTIG. now that, my friends, is what i call sexy.

    happy new year. hehe, pinilit mo ako magcomment na maganda ung gupit mo. di ba mas ok ung spin ko? salamat sa pag invite sa media noche.

  2. hehehehehehe. in fernez, di ko yun inexpect. ang sinabi ko lang na gawin mo e patotohanan mong maganda gupit ko.

    happy new year. cheers to a great year ahead, cheers to all the lessons we learned. take care of yerself, dearie. andito lang ako lagi.

  3. congrats on the big leap (ngek, parang kasal?!).may straight or curly hair moment din ako na di ko pa naresolve.buti na lang sarado ang mga parlor for new years so may time pang pag-isipan.

  4. Happy new year jayeee. Thanks for the e-mails. Love you lots.

  5. ang kulit ng emails noh? sunod-sunod. mahalaga lang talaga sa akin iarticulate. but you know, at the end of the day, ill be in your corner, babe. love u lots too. cant wait to see your permed eyelashes. 🙂 happy 2008. steady-steady lang.

  6. Exciting itong bagong taon!!! Things can only get better for us! Yahoo!!! Happy new year, love you! 🙂

  7. golds- muntik na mawala comment mo, naretrieve ko lang sa spams. shucks. spammer!! at ang update sa comment mo ay NAGPASTRAIGHT KA. eggcited na ako makita. magugulantang sila lahat. happy new year us and to our new looks!!!

    joan – oo nga!!! exciting to see what lies ahead. happy new year din, i love you!!!

  8. Happy New Year too :).

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