Posted by: Jae | July 11, 2008

Shunga*

On the subject of taste in men, and in response to my statement that I only date brilliant men, my friend Perci told me — with appropos drama and flourish — “BUT JAE, you can’t fuck brilliance.”

First, I disagree. You CAN fuck brilliance. In lots of ways. (Of course, getting into long-term relationships with them is another thesis statement altogether.)

But second, even assuming that you can’t, the lack of it can be… quite distracting. In short, nakaka-haggard ang shunga.

Let me illustrate via three examples. These are all casual dates.

Boy 1. Restaurant. First Date.

Boy: So, do you drink?

Girl: Hmmm, I’m a social drinker I would say.

Boy: (pointing to a casino across the street) Hey, do you gamble?

Girl: Social gambler din. Just for fun. With friends.

Boy: Aah. Social drinker. Social gambler. What don’t you do socially?

Girl: Climb.

Boy: (serious, thoughful nod). Sabagay, minsan mas ok mag-hiking mag-isa.

Boy 2. Dating and going out casually for a few weeks.

Girl: (opening a Dove chocolate and then reading the message in the chocolate wrapper. Napatawa ng malakas sa nabasa.) Hehe, ang witty nitong wrapper na ito. Clever. Panalo.

Boy:  Ows talaga? Ano?

Girl: (binabasa ng malakas ang nakalagay sa wrapper) “WHEN TWO HEARTS RACE, BOTH WIN.” Astig, di ba?

Boy: Pero, ako talaga, naniniwala ako… (hinga ng malalim, profound insight coming up)… love is not a race.

Girl: (namilipit nalang).

Boy 3. Starbucks. First or second date.

Boy: So, what’s your favorite book of all time?

Girl: Hmmm, madami. Sobrang dami. Pero I remember, yung unang book na iniyakan ko ng todo, The Good Earth. Grade 5 ako nun. Right now, I like Ben Okri.

Boy: Oh, really. That’s quite interesting. So what was the book that changed your life?

Girl: Well, wala naman, actually. Pero siguro kung may baril na nakatutok sa ulo ko ang isang bookish na mamamatay-tao at mapipilitan ako magsabi ng the book that changed my life, ang sasagutin ko nalang “To Kill A Mockingbird.” Para di na masyado mahirap ang paliwanagan. Ikaw ba?

Boy:  Well, that’s a tough one. But if there’s one book that was truly life-altering for me, truly profound, it would be…… (long, long pause)

Girl: Ano? (leaning forward)

Boy: Da Vinci Code.

—————————————

* this post is not meant to be mean. this is dedicated to my girlfriend B.🙂 never cry over spilt milk.


Responses

  1. hahaha nice one jae!🙂
    boy no. 1 was really funny. pero…
    um did you ever go out with boy no. 3 again? hehehe kasi naman, da vinci code? really?😉

  2. arck! bka pareho natin naka-date sa boy no 3/da vinci code changed my life.or gasp, dumadami ang mga ganitong lalaki

  3. wahahaha!

    Pero malay mo nga naman kung earth-shaking talaga para sa kanya yung “revelations” sa Da Vinci Code. Baka repentant religious sya, di ba?🙂

    walang sumagot ng “The Bible”?

  4. grace – hehe. no, the boy 3 was a one date wonder.

    golds – wahahaha, sana hindi naman iisang boy yun. mas matatake ko pa pag sinabi niyang little prince.

    taroogs – ang labo ng “walang sumagot ng bible?”. errk, kasi hindi naman sya survey. hehe.

  5. ehem. baka kailangan iclarify may isa sa mga boys dyan ang tumagal-tagal. buwan ang inabot. pero in fairness to “girl”, consistent naman siya sa pagsasabing hindi niya boyfriend. dahil special daw para sa kanya ang “boyfriend” na word.

    but still, hindi ito one-date wonder. wahahahaha. aminin mo nang blemished ang track record mo of brilliant men.

  6. wahahahaha. ang haggard ng comment mo.

  7. two blemishes, actually.. Ahahahaha.

  8. Hindi kakayanin ng powers ko ang ganyang date, Jae. Feeling ko kung umiinom ako habang sinabi nila yun, labas ilong ang drink ko. Kaya ayoko mag-date. Friends muna, tapos kayo na kung pumasa na sya sa brilliance/cutieness/hygiene test. Wala nang date-date pa.

  9. naku buti na lang nabasa ko ang post na ito kasiI might have answered the same question with “Da Vinci Code” too, second only to the bible. har!

    napacomment lang kasi natuwa ako sa girl 3. she read “Astonishing the Gods?” astig ah.

  10. joan – true, labas beer sa ilong ang appropriate reaction. hahahahaha.

    brother utoy – girl number 3 was referring to “a famished road” at the time, but then she became a fan, and eventually read “astonishing the gods” too.🙂

  11. nyahahaha. aliw yung boy no. 1. *sigh* isn’t there a study somewhere that says the more educated a woman the less likely she will find a life partner? gawd. life is so unfair.

  12. sparks – hehe. kaya nga ayoko mag-masters in law eh.🙂

  13. kung sabagay, life-altering naman talaga ang DA VINCI CODE. Madami itong philosophical, religious, at historical implications… but then again…hindi pa din. hahahahaha


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